Wahoo! Guess what it is two weeks exactly until my birthday! It crept up on my this year, I am getting old I hadn't even written out a list of what i want and when I did I didn't know what to put on it! Yikes, who am I? But the count down is on. It's not just my birth day, but my birth month I celebrate all month long. Last year I kept the decorations up for two whole months, I enjoyed having balloons up all the time! Balloons are my favorite I wish I had a room full of them! I don't know what I am doing for my birtday yet. I think Matt and I will go to the Melting Pot maybe with some friends it is a little pricey so i don't know who could go. I don't know what we will do with the family though. We will see.

A friend of mine wants to buy my couch and chaise from me for $500 which is awesome because I would get to go to IKEA and buy new stuff. The more I think about it though it makes me sad. It was the first thing I bought on my own. I paid cash for it when I moved out by myself which I think is a huge deal! It is a little sentimental to me and I love it. My couch is red and I have a great chaise lounge that is yellow but I never even use it and I know they would use the chaise all the time! What do I do! I need some help on deciding this!

There is a Questionairre that I just love. It is off of "Inside the Actors Studio." it is a TV show on Bravo. Anywho I am going to jot it down and I want you all to do it to. It's not long at all and it's kind of fun to do! So here we goooooooo....

My favorite word: Beautiful

My least favorite word: Nasty

What turns me on: smells and accents!

What turns me off: impolite people

My favorite sound: Showtunes

My least favorite sound: Chaos

My favorite cuss word: f$*#n-A

The profession other than mine i would like to attempt: Actress/dancer

The profession I would least like to attempt: gynecologist

If GOD truely exsists what would you like him to say when you enter Heaven?

Good Job

I hope you enjoy the quiz! It isn't too long and the answers are always neat to hear! I have also decided I will put a quote on my blog everyday. I just love them!

"I can not give the formula for success, but

I can give you the formula for failure which is

try to impress everybody"

How great is that! I might make it my moto to live by, I have a tendency to want to impress everyone and I have been successful in all of my jobs, but not so in my personal life, which I suppose isn't real success anyhow! Love to hear your thoughts!

Well my weekend felt a little busy, but good. I hung out with family Friday and I was feeling very tired, it was hard to keep my eyes open. I went to see Matt at work and stayed out a little later then planned. Had to crash at my moms because it was a struggle to keep my eyes open. I had to get up at 7 to go home and then go to work. I was at work 45 minutes past the time we closed, Ugh! Well my best friend from childhood, practically my second family, got married! I can't believe it, she was beautiful! Nothing else happened much!

It is offical I only have two weeks left of EECU! I am sad to go because I truely enjoyed all the people I worked with! My boss is so awesome and I have made some great friendships! In our meeting today we read a passage out a book she is reading, and it sure did hit the spot. It talked about goals and how we get sidetracked on them. How when you go to buy milk you alwasy end up leaving with 15 items and no milk. That is me! I had a goal I was going towards till I got married and was sidetracked. Then i got involved with my job and was sidetracked again. I just couldn't believe how perfect this passage was!

I can't wait to go back to school I just know I am going to be so much happier when I get there. I set 6 month, 1 year and 5 year goals tonight because right now I feel that is as far in the future as I want to look at. In 6 months I will go further in my goal making! WEll this was a bit scattered but I wanted to post something! I would talk about my goals tomorrow I think, so stay tuned!

I have made a new friend at work. It is great because we are so similar and are both going through the same stuff right now. She is actually looking for a new job too and is learning how tough it is to grow up. We are the same age and have a similar background. We went to happy hour yesterday and we had so much fun. We just talked and talked the whole time, there was never a silence in our conversation it was nice. She actually had been asked by our boss to come work over here because she had worked for Paula before and she did but now she regrets it, but i told her she never would have met me! We are able to support each other and help keep moral high! I am so glad!

i didn't get to write in my journal last night, because I was at one of my dearest friends bacheolorette party and stay the night. Her sister was there too! These people were like my second family growing up I adore them! I can't believe she is getting married Saturday. Well we had a blast catching up and bringing up old stories! It was Wonderful!

There wasn't anything exciting in this post sorry if I have wasted your time!

So I had a pretty good day today! We were slow at work which was awesome. You know what else is awesome God, he is such a good friend to me. I pray a lot and that is the bulk of how I practice my faith and he listens and answers. There are just so many instances that I know he had a part in. Anyway so i was able to catch up on paperwork and now it won't be left behind for someone else to deal with, though I know there will be more to come, I will stay on top of it.

Tonight after my voice lesson I was starving thought I was going to pass out I was so famished. Well in my attempt to be healthy I stopped at the dredded? Wal Mart and picked up chicken breast, squash, onions(which I am craving all the time now) a microwavable chocolate chip cookie mix, which was pretty good, and a magazine, that was it. So I trot on over to the self checkout line, where of course 2 are broken, and there is a women with quite a few things that can work the computer well and then had coupons! I literally stood in line behind her for 10 minutes. This is a fast lane for 15 items or less no coupons no checks!!! And hello I was about to collapse from hunger. I tell you what, the nerve of some people!

On a third note I am suprised about my feelings about working in a restaraunt again. I suppose because I am learning to be a grown up I have realized how many perks that job has. Though it isn't for everybody it is pretty easy for me because i did it for so long. I must say though it isn't an easy job, so jerks who think they are better than you can shut your pie hole. I get to wake up later, work less hours and make roughly the same amount of money if not more.Rude people aren't going to change so I choose to ignore them. I still have yet to decide where I will go but I will figure it out.!

I go back to work tomorrow ugh! But I am looking at it differently now, I have always wanted to be that strong person who could get through things and have a great attitude about it. I have never been that type of person but now would be the perfect opportunity to be. I know I don't want to do this job but if I go in witha better attitude about it, it won't be nearly as hard. I know I am going back to school and won't be doing this much longer and we do sometimes have to do things we don't want to. Though if at all possible I will not do things I don't want to because there is no reason. This though is my journey to being that person I want to be and maybe who I really am but never realized.

I will also start today with a 30 day goal. My goal to take my medication every day and write down how I am feeling about different aspects of my life and then at the end of the 30 days look back and see how i am feeling. This way I will have a good head on my shoulders. I feel like I am learning to how to grow up all over again at 22 almost 23 and i am scared half to death to do so but am so excited also. Whatever happens in the next 30 days in the next few months, I know will be for the best and I will grow and start to figure out who I am. Even though i am by myself a lot I am not truely hanging out with myself. I have missed out on a lot of things I could have learned earlier but that is ok. The past is behind me and the future is tomorrow. I will take each day as a journey a life lesson. I know it won't always be easy to feel that way but there is no fun in being easy!

Ok so life is funny! I have been searching for a new job this week on my vacation. I have sent out plenty of resumes and no return on them yet. I just did it on Tuesday so I am not super worried about it. I also came to the realization of finding a new job that would work with my schedule. The easy thing to do would be to go back waiting tables. Ugggggggh! I don't want to do that but I believe I would be more accepting of it since I would be back in school and doing theatre again. It was a big problem before because all I was doing was waiting tables and nothing else. I am still not sure I could do it. People just kill me with thier attitudes in restaraunts. It is as if they lose all control of good manners and don't see servers as actual humans! I will blog about that in the near future, i don't want to be sidetracked right now. See this job is something I am good at and it is a job I wouldn't have to worry about while I went to school, it would be flexible so I could get off for shows and such. There is also the option of cocktailing/bartending at the bar we go to a lot. I would rather do that except the hours might kinda stink. Oh the worries, I know I will find something and even if I have to wait tables and still look for another job I could do that. Though people at my old restaraunt were excited to hear that I might come back and that makes me feel good!

I come to learn that being a "grown up" is not quite the reality of the fantasy I had invisioned for so long. Being a human being is an effort every day. I realize you could be nothing and achieve nothing and there is no effort but I am not positive that is being a human being anyway. I think it is noteworthy to live everyday because it is diffucult to do so. For me it is an effort to not scream at the top of my lungs how dumb people truely are or how rude they are to other humans. Those people don't realize how diffucult life is because they put forth no true effort in it. People who are rude for no apparent reason other than to be rude must have it easy. Why, because they don't have to do anything in life if they don't agree than screw it and whoever is involved! Of course I don't believe that is any way to live a "life" because you would be very unhappy! Which is easy, it is easy to be unhappy and mad and in a bad mood all the time because so many bad things happen and it is easy to bring someone down than to lift someone up. The society we live is has been molded to think that way. It is very sad to me, and that is why so many people are the horrible way they are. The laziness that is the "in" thing right now, that I am sad to say may become the permanent thing, is going to be the demise of the decent human being!